Needs to be deeply held

Why do those who love you, hurt you 

Yesterday I brought love home, she was happy purring 

Just then my beagle started barking and love shriveled with fear 

She contracted, wanted to run away and in that escaping without knowing,  she clawed me all over 

The stench of her fear clung to me 

Those who love you immensely,  yet hurt you, are the ones who carry memories, like the love of being mauled by dogs 

Their earlier wounds still ooze 

And fear drives all the things they do 

Fear of being alone 

Fear of disappointing others 

Fear of confronting my own pain and numbness 

The opposite of love is not hate 

It is fear 

I have been this person 

I will go and find love again 

Pet her 

Calm her 

I will whisper to her 

It pained 

That it is ok 

For she did not know any better

I need to hug her tighter 

Make her feel safe 

Dissolve her fears

The whispering is to me as well

And for my 15 year old who claws at times 

And needs to be deeply held 

Not understood

But loved 

Without conditions…..