No mud – no lotus
All my life, most part of it
I was running away from conflict
Chasing peace
Chasing freedom
Trying to help people
Trying to please people
I resented noise
I resented being pushed
I hated unkindness
I hated anger
I feared failure
I feared disappointing others
I feared loosing loved ones
Till the knowing dawned
Whatever is happening around me
Is a reflection of what is happening within me
The chaos is here to stay
Failure will happen
People will leave me
I will be a villain in some stories
I will feel sad
I will feel resentment
The more I resist conflict
The more I will attract it
At the end of a chaotic confusing disappointing overwhelming day
I go back to my Mandala
I go back to my colour pencils
Colouring from outside to inside as I move within the Mandala
I move within myself
Reaching my essence
My true nature
I find calmness
I find rest
I reach home
What happens around me or to me is not in my hand
What I do with it, the choice I make
Leads me to the ultimate freedom….
To be a lotus in the mud